they say it’s hard, i say He helped

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.” (2:286)

i never had imagine that i could reach up to now. after thinking through, flash backs, reflects, rupanya banyak dah perkara miracles yang sebenarnya allah dah susun untukku. orang cakap, kita gamble hidup kita. eh

it all started when i was in standard 6, ABIM kajang. oh, pengalaman gelap kalau nak diikutkan. saya panggil zaman jahiliyah (budak ni pun ada jahiliyah ke? apa jelaa jahiliyah dia. eh) ye saya ada. serius. semua orang ada. tapi. biarlah perkara yang dah berlalu, berlalu. and awak memang tak akan boleh imagine pun apa jahiliyah saya. erk

macam saya, saya yakin, semua keluaran sekolah rendah 5A menginginkan sekolah top top, sekolah hebat hebat, malah SBP atau MRSM. tapi, ditakdirkan Allah, sebabkan sekolah rendah sekolah private, susah wooo nak masuk sekolah government. macam mimpi je kalau boleh lepas untuk masuk sekolah government waktu tingkatan satu nanti. susah sangat sangat waktu tu, kesian umi ngan abah kena naik turun pejabat kementerian pendidikan, pejabat pelajaran daerah, untuk mintak masuk sekolah menegah. smka pun payah. waktu tu berangan nak masuk smka maahad hamidiah. tapi, subhanallah, menangis air mata darah pun, orang kat pejabat tu takkan bagi (tapi sekarang cerita lain, mudah sungguh allah permudahkan untuk orang sekarang, alhamdulillah) sungguh.

tapi dengan susunan Allah yang lebih mengetahui, Dia memudahkan urusan kemasukan ke smka. tapi bukan maahad hamidiah, tapi sharifah rodziah (baca:sharodz). jauh tu, rumah dengan sekolah. kajang-melaka, melaka-kajang. kadang kadang tak balek pun, tinggal rumah kelasmet. masuk sharodz, gamble hidup. sebab tak tahu apa yang allah susun. adakah selama 5 tahun kat sana, atau kejap kejap je. hmm

rupanya, persediaan untuk maahad. penyucian diri, mungkin (baca: tazkiyatun nafs) setahun kemudian waktu tingkatan 2, allah permudahkan untuk masuk maahad (finally, alhamdulillah). i had my life there, ups and down. shaping my personality, knowing myself more. knowing Him more. alhamdulillah

sometimes, we really don’t know what he has planned for us. really we don’t!

once dah masuk maahad, baru tahu, kenapa kena masuk sharodz dulu. masuk sekolah perempuan, sebelum sekolah campur. well, more or less, it helped me of becoming who i am now. erk, hope you get what i meant. kalau tak, tak pe laa🙂

okeh, ni cerita nak keluar sekolah pulak

sebelum graduate kat maahad, based on trial, me and my friends applied for Darul Quran (baca:DQ). alhamdulillah, Allah pilih untuk pergi interview. orang cakap, tak semua orang dapat interview.  waah, waktu tu memang bersungguh sungguh kat interview. they gave us half an hour untuk hafal one page of the mushaf. and alhamdulillah, i managed. i guessed, i did well. balek, tawakkal🙂

berangan rangan dah nak pergi hafal quran kat DQ. waaaaah.

sampai hari keputusan nak cek. pejam mata, sambil “bismillah”

well, He knows better.

again, i don’t know what He has for me. so i waited for the SPM results. maybe a better place He has for me. i guessed (layan perasaan waktu tu)

alhamdulillah, dengan keputusan SPM, abah cakap peluang besar sikit. so i applied here and there. and at the end of the day, leaving me with four options; matrikulasi di KMJ (kolej matrikulasi johor), asasi sains hayat kat UM, medical degree kat cairo, and international baccalaureate kat kolej mara banting, KMB (huh, apakah itu?)

hmm. istikharah.

waktu tu tak tau pun apa petunjuk allah nak bagi. hanya boleh mintak, apa yang terbaik, permudahkan lah.

nak dijadikan warna warni hidup waktu tu, dua dua pilihan awal susah, umi keluar masuk hospital sebab sakit ni sakit tu. abah pun keluar masuk hospital, sakit ni sakit tu. sampai semua selesai, tinggal KMB je pilihan. eh

tak de pilihan lain, dua dua choices dah tutup. tinggal, KMB sahaja. gamble hidup lagi. again, i don’t know what He has planned for me.

pergh, (alhamdulillah) memang warna warni ah hidup kat KMB ni. lebih membina diri, lebih mencabar, malah lebih mengenali si Dia. no other greater words to describe, except, all praises to HIM, the almighty.

everything happened for a reason. only He knows what and why🙂

even tak lepas requirement mara pun, allah susun untuk masa depan. hmm. again, had to gamble with my life. with the choices left. semoga dipermudahkan🙂

there is only one thing that kept me moving. dulu tak pernah pun jumpa ayat ni, tapi tula pun yang menolak. tapi, bila masuk kmb, it strengthens me more..

“…Maka bergembiralah dengan jual-beli yang telah kamu lakukan itu, dan demikian itulah kemenangan yang agung.”

[at-Taubah, 9:111]

 i don’t gamble for nothing. i gamble for Him🙂

thanks for reading. doakan supaya kita semua sentiasa tsabat, insya Allah🙂

About seciput

khalifah ALLAH
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